By Jennifer Shulkin
Many articles are published on how to talk to children about antisemitism, but nobody has explained why doing so is so important.
Some 88% of American Jewish adults surveyed in 2020 by the American Jewish Committee believe that antisemitism is a problem in the United States, and 82% feel that it has increased in the past five years. Approximately 37% reported personally being the victim of antisemitism over the past five years. Jewish American adults seem well aware of the intensifying problem.
For Jewish American children, however, who may not yet have social media or may be shielded from current events, much of today’s antisemitism is not so visible. This is especially true for conservative, reform, and secular Jews who have assimilated into mainstream American culture and display no outward indicators of their religion. American Jews are no longer limited to living in certain neighborhoods or attending certain universities. The rising rate of interfaith marriage is yet another indicator of assimilation and acceptance.
Like many others raised near a major metropolitan city, I personally observed little antisemitism growing up. At school, I fearlessly chatted about my bat mitzvah and Hebrew school. I, like many of my peers, extrapolated that the whole country – if not the world – was similarly accepting of Jews.
Antisemitism is Like a Riptide
Even if antisemitism is not so visible in everyday life, its danger is like that of a riptide. A riptide appears far less deadly than it actually is, gaining strength quickly and unpredictably when the waters still before dragging victims away from shore and potentially drowning them. We talk to children about riptides. We teach them to not fight directly against them but rather to swim parallel to the shore until out of the current and then back to shore at an angle.
Just like with riptides, I worry about Jewish American children being unaware and unprepared for unexpected waves and undercurrents of antisemitism. It is our responsibility – primarily parents’, mentors’, and teachers’ – to begin a dialogue about antisemitism and prepare them before they are in over their heads.
Striking the Balance Between Reality and Fear
Early conversations about antisemitism should strive for preparation and familiarity, not creating fear and anxiety. Conversations must be age-appropriate and tailored to the unique characteristics of the child. Discussing gas chambers with a five-year-old is irresponsible.
I believe that my parents struck the right balance of imparting the reality of antisemitism without disrupting the sense of safety I felt in my school, neighborhood, and synagogue.
At age six, I understood vaguely that antisemitism was the reason both sides of my family came to the United States; Nazis drove my grandfather from Hamburg in 1939 and my father’s great-grandparents fled threats of physical harm in Russia. My parents made sure I knew that antisemitism was not just a remnant of the past, though, especially outside of America. They explained that many of Israel’s neighbors and people elsewhere in the world feel that Israel as a Jewish state has no right to exist. Similarly, if my family was traveling abroad and visiting a synagogue, they explained why we gave the taxi driver an address nearby rather than the synagogue’s name.
My parents clarified why nobody in my family wore Jewish star necklaces or displayed outward religious symbols. In general, they discouraged me from advertising my Judaism among unfamiliar people. The reason was twofold: first, to personally avoid any unpleasantness or animosity a stranger might feel toward Jews, and second – just in case – to spare myself any risk of physical harm (especially when traveling).
Through multiple conversations that increased in complexity and specificity as I matured, my parents taught me to navigate various situations, assess probabilities of danger and animosity, and respond appropriately when personally encountering or witnessing antisemitism. This preparation proved to be necessary.
As one of the only Jewish competitors on the national junior squash circuit, I understood that my family could not join certain country clubs because of their reluctance to accept Jewish members. Additionally, as a college and law student at east coast universities, I was able to recognize anti-Zionism demonstrations on campus for what they were: veiled antisemitic criticisms. And after law school, as a Manhattan Assistant District Attorney, I recognized one defendant’s antisemitic slurs as not separate from, but rather the motivator of, a physical assault; despite resistance from my superiors, I advocated to prosecute the attack as a felony hate crime rather than a simple misdemeanor. Had it not been for the ongoing dialogue with my parents throughout my childhood, I would have been shocked by or perhaps ignorant to these incidents of antisemitism occurring all around me.
Filling in the Gaps
American schools teach very little about antisemitism – usually limited to a few paragraphs on the Holocaust in a history textbook or reading Elie Wiesel’s Night. Attempts at reform are underway, but new curriculums on inclusion and prejudice threaten to exclude the study of antisemitism.
Social media and online media are another major source of information, and we have little control over what children view on these platforms. Jewish American parents and mentors can help fill in the gaps in knowledge and understanding that schools and the internet create.
A good place to start is asking children what they already know – about both current and past events. Encourage them to read books and watch movies that explain and add context to complicated issues like the Holocaust and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Review the same materials yourself and unpack them together. Make clear that you will serve as a reference point and want to begin an ongoing discussion. Opening the door for conversations about these difficult topics will make children more comfortable asking questions about what they see, read, and listen to as they mature.
An Opportunity to Instill Pride in Being Jewish and Condemn Prejudice at Large
Children not yet exposed to the topic of antisemitism may at first have trouble understanding how anyone can despise Jews simply for being Jewish. Just as problematic may be explaining that despite some people hating Jews for being Jewish, Jewish heritage is indeed something to be proud of. Trusted adults must help navigate these confusing identity questions.
It would be a missed opportunity if these conversations were limited to just antisemitism and did not also discuss prejudice more broadly. Underscore that centuries of antisemitism have made Jews more sensitive toward, and fiercer advocates against, other forms of prejudice, as evidenced by the mass numbers of Jews walking side-by-side with black Americans in the civil rights movement and today’s BLM movement. Especially in light of America’s recent racial reckoning, we have a responsibility to discuss societal injustice beyond just antisemitism. Discussing antisemitism will open the door to these other difficult conversations.
By teaching Jewish American children from an early age about antisemitism and prejudice, we can ensure that they will be better equipped to tackle the ugly realities confronting this generation and the next.
Jennifer Shulkin is a graduate of Harvard Law School and the University of Pennsylvania. She has served as a former judicial law clerk in the Eastern District of New York and an assistant district attorney in Manhattan. She currently works as a white-collar criminal defense attorney in Washington, DC. Read full bio here.